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Ex-Cowboys player on marriage to boyfriend and what Tom Landry would’ve thought: ‘he would have loved me no matter what’

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Former Dallas Cowboys linebacker Jeff Rohrer, 59, who recently came out as gay and was scheduled to get married to Joshua Ross on Sunday in Los Angeles, on what the experience of coming out late in life (to the New York Times and Outsports) has taught him:

Note: Rohrer was the Cowboys’ second-round pick in 1982, out of Yale, and played 83 games over six seasons with the Cowboys. In 1987, when the Cowboys swept the Super Bowl champion Giants, Rohrer had a sack of Phil Simms in both games, per Pro Football Reference.

“Wow. What have I learned? A lot of things. The one big thing I learned recently that maybe I didn’t know is that if you’re a good person, and you have had good relationships with people, and you’ve treated people with respect, you’re going to get that back. That is what has happened to me, and it’s been wonderful.

“How incredibly nice my friends and teammates have been to me! I don’t deserve it!”

[Over the phone from Califormia, Rohrer got emotional and began crying.]

“My high school friends, my Yale friends, my Cowboys teammates, my friends from the film business in California, it’s because of the press this week that they found out. No one knew before that. I didn’t tell anyone. It is shocking how well everyone has reacted to me. They’re saying, We’re so happy for you—so happy for your family, and we can’t wait to meet Josh. Things like that. I’ve had like 150 texts, and I’ve got it down to 30, but more keep coming.

“The world is a great place today.

“You know what I learned from it? We are moving forward as a society. The train has left the station, and you can either be on that train and move forward, or you can sit at the station. Your choice.

“It’s hard for anyone to understand what it was like for me growing up, and in the NFL. Now that I’m out, I know that you’re either born gay or you’re not. And when I was growing up, it simply couldn’t be a part of my life. I was a scholar-athlete in high school, and being gay did not fit into that profile. I was a scholar-athlete at Yale, and it did not fit into that profile. I was a Cowboy, and it didn’t fit into that profile.

“My life was suppressed and managed. So, I got drafted by the Dallas Cowboys and I’m gonna be gay now? No. I don’t think so. Not with the Dallas Cowboys in 1982.

“My life just went on. I was gay, but that was not a part of who I was then. I got married. I loved my wife [Heather]. Still do, even though we are divorced. I still live with my ex-wife and my two kids and Joshua. We’re the happiest family ever. We’ve got the happiest house in town.

“And now I’m gonna be who I am. I am so happy. I’m not Jekyll and Hyde anymore. I’m not the monster.

“So … what would I say to young people who might be in my shoes today? I would say, everybody has their own situation, their own clock, their own calendar. Some people today might say, ‘It’s better now. Come out tomorrow.’ For some people that’s the right thing; you’re happy and you’re free. But people have to make their own decision. It’s a very personal decision. Ultimately, it’s taking me most of life, 59 years, to make this choice. But I can’t make it for anyone else.”

“You played for Tom Landry—the only coach you had in your NFL career. What would he have thought about you today?”

“Tom Landry was one of the most amazing people I’ve ever had in my life. He was all about love and understanding with his players. I loved Tom Landry. He was a man of the Bible, and a good Christian man. So he probably wouldn’t have liked this. But I think he would have loved me no matter what.”

Joe Flacco was as good as Joe Montana (for one postseason)

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Whatever you end up thinking about Joe Flacco’s tenure in Baltimore, I would urge you to remember what he did six years ago, in the postseason of his fifth NFL year.

He beat Andrew Luck by 15 in a wild-card game. He made the throw of his life to help beat Peyton Manning, in 2-degree wind chill in Denver, by three in a divisional game. He beat Tom Brady by 15 in the AFC Championship Game in Foxboro. He beat the broiling-hot Colin Kaepernick by three in the Super Bowl.

Flacco, easily, had one of the best postseasons by a quarterback in history. Who beats two of the top five quarterbacks ever, in the span of eight days, both in hostile road environments?

I covered that divisional game in Denver on a Saturday afternoon that became Saturday night, a 4-hour, 11-minute slugfest. The game was tied at 7, at 14, at 21, at 28, and … well, I’ll tell you how it got tied at 35 in case you don’t recall.

With 40 seconds left in the fourth quarter and Denver up 35-28, Baltimore offensive coordinator Jim Caldwell called into Flacco’s helmet in the deafening roar of a crowd anticipating a trip to the AFC title game: “Scat right 99 … “ with some other signaling words behind it. Flacco loved it. Four receivers, two left and two right, all running go routes.

As I stood in the end zone (in Denver, in the last couple of minutes, media can stand on the field, out of the way, to see the end of the game), I saw Denver pass-rushers Elvis Dumervil and Robert Ayers both pressure Flacco, who stepped up and flung it high and far into the Denver night. Man, it was a high ball. And when it came down, it nestled into the arms of Jacoby Jones for a 70-yard touchdown.

The stadium got church-sermon quiet in the matter of about three seconds. Seventy yards away from the Baltimore sideline, I could hear the shrieks of the Ravens players. Jones found Flacco and screamed: “SMOKIN’ JOE!”

In the sixth quarter—or second overtime—Justin Tucker, with the wind chill dipping below zero, drilled a 47-yard field goal to win it 38-35.

I will always remember Flacco after that game. Smiling, fairly happy, but with him, you could never tell just how happy. His backup, Tyrod Taylor, seemed more thrilled, honestly.

Then the win in Foxboro. Coach John Harbaugh afterward called him “Brady-like … When we scouted him, so many times you look at a player and you say, ‘Is this going to be too big for him? Is the stage going to be too big?’ Never. It never has been.’’

Then the win in the Super Bowl, in New Orleans. Flacco told me after that game, at a family party in Huck Finn’s restaurant in the French Quarter, that his idol growing up was Joe Montana. (How many kid quarterbacks have said that? Only all of them.) That caused me to go back to my hotel room in the wee hours of Monday morning to see how Flacco’s postseason compared to Montana’s finest one.

Not far off, as it turned out.

So … I get that Flacco has been a mediocre quarterback since then, in part due to injury. He’s 43-42, with one playoff win (albeit in Pittsburgh) since that night in Huck Finn’s. But I guess I’m a glass-half-full guy. Elite or not, Flacco deserves to be remembered as the man who delivered a Super Bowl title to Baltimore. And when the Ravens picked him 18th out of Delaware in 2008, I guarantee if you’d told owner Steve Bisciotti he’d win one Super Bowl with Flacco in 11 seasons, he’d have signed for it right then.

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3 reasons why Colin Kaepernick case was settled

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There is far more we don’t know about the Colin Kaepernick/NFL/collusion settlement than we know, because the terms of the deal announced Friday are confidential and have not leaked. So it’s wrong to knock Kaepernick for caving, because we don’t know what his options were; if he and his counsel felt they faced a certain loss in the case to be heard by arbitrator Stephen Burbank, why just take the loss without dinging the NFL? It’s wrong to assume the NFL felt it was going to lose the case and thus settled; if that were the case, why would Kaepernick have taken a deal?

I know three things that influence my opinion of the case:

• One: When the depositions given by NFL people in the case were complete, those inside the league felt confident that nothing was said by a league executive or employee that could be deemed damaging enough to prove the case that two or more teams colluded to limit Kaepernick’s NFL employment. Very confident. Maybe that’s right; maybe it isn’t. Now, in the time between the end of the depositions and now, could some attorney have told Roger Goodell or his top legal lieutenant, Jeff Pash, that they might have liability with something in one or more of the depositions? I don’t know that. But the big reason why so many who covered this story were surprised was because they didn’t see it coming—that’s how confident the NFL was in its case.

• Two: The NFL is coming off a strong season, with no mega-controversies (till the woefully handled missed pass-interference call in the NFC title game, with the league office’s clumsy attempt to bury it by ignoring it for 10 days) and an uptick in TV ratings and an influx of new stars like surprising young MVP Patrick Mahomes, Baker Mayfield and Saquon Barkley. The Bears and Rams and Chargers lifted dormant or down markets. Concussions were down a significant 23 percent year over year, giving hope that the game can be made safer. Roger Goodell mostly stayed out of sight during 2018, which turned out to be a pretty good strategy—fans didn’t have the commissioner on whom to focus their anger. With all that giving the NFL momentum this offseason, it’s probably a smart investment for the league to make the Kaepernick problem go away.

• Three: This comes from an excellent summation of the legality of the settlement from the University of New Hampshire’s associate dean of the School of Law, Michael McCann, writing for Sports Illustrated: “The loser of Burbank’s award could have challenged it in federal court, thereby creating public records with detailed information about the grievance. The NFL has long tried to avoid the discovery process and disclosure of any discovery.” Smart. So even if the NFL were to win the arbitration, Kaepernick could have appealed, and attorney Michael Geragos could have filed to force an appeals court to open up the NFL’s depositions.

In the end, if you’re talking a just way for this to end and you believe (as I do) that Kaepernick is likely to never play in the NFL again, he deserves a multi-million-dollar settlement, if that’s what he got. He did exacerbate what was a dicey situation already with his own actions, once wearing socks with pigs dressed as police officers. There were times when critics saw him as more interested in being a victim than a football player. Regardless, he didn’t deserve to be shunned by 32 teams.

I’ll always think Kaepernick hasn’t found NFL employment in 25 months because of business reasons, not football ones. I believe some teams have had interest in signing Kaepernick as a backup quarterback who may have been able to work his way into the starting job—on some teams—when the noise died down. But interested coaches and GMs with some franchises would have had to battle the business side of the organization and possibly the owner to get the deal done. That wouldn’t have to happen in a place like New England. If Bill Belichick wanted Kaepernick, I’ve got to think owner Robert Kraft would agree to let him make that move. (Maybe that’s why that rumor got some legs over the weekend, though I couldn’t find any confirmation of any interest by New England in Kaepernick.)

In the end, this became about more than whether Kaepernick’s free-wheeling style of play would fit a particular offense. It became about business, and whether Kaepernick would have indelibly affected the bottom line over the football product.

In my opinion, those issues are more specious than real, but I’m not the one running a team. It’s an unfulfilling end to the Kaepernick/NFL saga, if this is it. But we don’t get to choose the end that seems most satisfying or fair.

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