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The Bachelorette Recap Week 8: It’s over now (basically)

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I hope you all enjoyed Monday night’s episode of The Bachelorette, because once JoJo the producers sent Luke home, we’re basically just waiting for JoJo and ARB to break up a week after the finale so ARB can be the 17th guy on a football pregame show.

But since we still have a couple more recaps to go, let’s just get right into it

Bachelor party

I know we normally start with the MVP, but this is way more important.

The producers clearly had two choices entering the taping of the hometown and fantasy suite dates — prolong the Luke vs. ARB drama until the finale or bite the bullet for this season now and invest heavy in Luke The Bachelor. I can’t say I blame them for their choice. Goading Luke into his last-second display of love only to have JoJo crush him minutes later makes him as sympathetic a figure as possible. In fact, it might be borderline genius. Think of it —

  1. Stage the most romantic date possible for Luke and JoJo to make him look like more than a pretty face.
  2. Convince Luke to wait to tell JoJo he loves her until the rose ceremony.
  3. Tell JoJo she has to send Luke home.
  4. Wait for JoJo to stop begging to take Luke to the fantasy suite.
  5. Profit.

But seriously, the producers basically gave themselves two sympathetic, relatable candidates for next season’s Bachelor by forcing JoJo to eliminate Luke and Chase in the most humiliating and painful ways possible. Too bad neither of them will be even remotely interesting.

MVP

JoJo? I mean I don’t know who else to give it to this. At least JoJo called ARB out on his plans for the next year if she picked him. Of course, ARB tried to ply that smooth jazz he’s used over and over (and still kind of worked), telling JoJo he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Except JoJo’s response this time was “That’s what Ben said.”

Damn.

ARB did recover nicely enough. By the time their conversation at dinner was over, ARB once again had smoothed things out well enough. The only question left for these two is who gets what job after the show ends and do they announce the breakup immediately after the finale or wait a few weeks.

Romeo’s balcony

I normally don’t devote two categories to one person, but the goodbye scene between ARB and JoJo deserves it’s own breakdown. First of all, ARB is shirtless in sweatpants in a tropical environment. OK, fine — style over comfort. Second, he pulls the classic Bachelorette move of walking up to the balcony, leaning forward with both of his arms on the railing and staring off into the distance. Starting to get stupid, but this is campy reality TV, so I’ll buy it. But then, in the final and most ridiculous straw, the camera pans out from Jordan’s thoughtful moment to reveal JoJo walking directly below him on the beach below — except HE NEVER CHANGES HIS VIEW. I have seen some absolutely ridiculous things on this show, but this was a slap to the face.

Pawn star

Oh, Robby, you easily manipulated creeper. The only reason you’re still around is the producers can basically get you and your mom to do whatever they want. I’m not sure what Robby thinks he’s going to get out of this agreement, but I can almost guarantee what he actually gets isn’t what he thinks it is.

Robby is probably the least interesting competitor the producers could’ve picked to go up against ARB in the finale. But that tells you all you need to know about this season. They’ve already mailed it in.

Shock and awww

Man, I legitimately feel bad for Chase. He clearly knew he didn’t belong at this point of the competition. He even told JoJo she liked the other guys more than she liked him, but there he was, in the fantasy suite, thinking he had a shot. And then he drops the L bomb, and, boom. JoJo decides THAT’S the minute to call it quits and end this charade.

The worst part of it all is he only said it because JoJo basically goaded him into saying it. Hey, at least he got to come back for that totally useless goodbye scene with JoJo during the rose ceremony.

I think I’m becoming jaded.

 

Random notes

  • My favorite part of the rose ceremony was the monkeys and it’s not that close.
  • Did anyone else hear someone call this week “the romantic overnight dates” or was that just me? That was real, right?
  • Does anyone actually believe Robby’s dad wrote that note? Good, me neither.
  • I find it hilarious how all of them still say “Chris Harrison” at the end of reading the fantasy suite letter.
  • When Robby interrupted Chase’s date and came to JoJo’s room, I shouted “He pulled a Kayla!”
  • ARB was bored AF on that cave hiking date.

Quote of the week

“I was in love with her, but I never got the chance to love her.”

That’s deep, Luke. It’s also completely incomprehensible nonsense, which is a perfect segue for JoJo’s family next week! HEYO!

Joey Chestnut downs a record 74 franks for 11th title

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Defending champion Joey “Jaws” Chestnut chomped down a record 74 franks and buns to take home his 11th title at the annual Nathan’s Famous July Fourth hot dog eating contest.

The renowned competitive eater from San Jose, California, takes home the coveted Mustard Belt and surpassed the previous mark of 72 dogs and buns he downed last year.

The heat wasn’t a factor; the National Weather Service put the temperature at 83 degrees with a heat index of 91 degrees.

Miki Sudo said after eating 37 dogs and buns that the heat may have slowed her down in winning the women’s competition.

That didn’t stop the Las Vegas eater from easily beating out second-place finisher Mischelle Lesco of Tuscon, Arizona, who chowed down 28 wieners and buns.

Joey Chestnut heavy betting favorite on 2018 Hot Dog contest odds

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It boils down not to “if,” but “how many?” when it comes to Joey Chestnut and the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Chestnut, who’s won in 10 of the last 11 years, is an overwhelming -550 favorite against the field to prevail again in the July 4 competitive eating contest that takes place in Coney Island, New York, according to sportsbooks monitored by OddsShark.com.

The rest of the field is listed at +325 to pull off the upset (stomach), but it seems telling that Matt Stonie, the only competitive eater who has out-gorged Chestnut in the last decade, has had a two-year decline in the total of hot dogs and buns consumed since his triumph in 2015.

The reality that Chestnut might be competing against himself could be a tip on how to handle over/under on his 72.5 total. Chestnut has improved his record in three of his last four wins and has consumed at least 68 hot dogs and buns five times, so getting the over – which pays +160, to the -210 for the under – would seem projectable.

Carmen Cincotti, who will mark his 25th birthday on the day of the contest, has emerged as an up-and-coming challenger. The total on Cincotti’s consumption is 59.5, with the over still holding decent value at -190, to +145 for the under.

The alternate lines for the winner’s total – 68.5 and 66.5 – are very low-risk, but also very low-yield plays.

Four-time women’s champion Miki Sudo is also a -550 favorite on the 2018 hot dog contest odds to win her division, with the field priced at +400. Sudo crushed a record 41 hot dogs and buns in 2017, while runner-up Michelle Lesco finished with 32.5.

The over/under on the total for the women’s winner is a toss-up at 41.5, paying -120 either way, and Sudo is likely the only one in the field with a legitimate shot at it. Sudo has finished at least 38 hot dogs and buns in three consecutive years.

In head-to-head props, Sudo is also offering -500 against +300 challenger Sonya Thomas, who won back in 2014. Thomas finished with 30 hot dogs in 2017.

For more odds information, betting picks and a breakdown of this week’s top sports betting news check out the OddsShark podcast with Jon Campbell and Andrew Avery. Subscribe on iTunes or listen to it at OddsShark.libsyn.com.