The Bachelorette Recap Week 7: The Producers, ARB’s Family Drama and Texas love

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The good news about Monday’s Bachelorette Hometowns episode? The ARB vs. Luke battle for JoJo’s heart reached peak ridiculousness. The bad news? Two of the four dates were boring AF, ARB and family spent the entire date talking about The Brother Who Shall Not Be Named (WITHOUT ACTUALLY SAYING ANYTHING) and they ended the episode with another pointless To Be Continued.

But hey, they don’t pay me NOT to write, so here we go…

MVP

The producers! In a show SO overly scripted that dropping a gossip mag defaming the star of the show DURING an episode came and went like a bad fart, Monday’s Hometowns episode was abhorrently overproduced and staged. The overt Aaron Rodgers references, having Robbie’s mom bring up the “right reasons” BS and the push toward Luke in the final date of the night were just appetizers for the grossest, most overt producer intervention.

I mean, seriously, you set Luke up as the rising hero, the Prince Charming in cowboy boots stealing JoJo’s heart in the final date. Then, she says, out of nowhere, she has to send Luke home, only to have Luke ask for a minute alone right before and THEN he tells her he loves her and she changes her mind completely? Because when there’s no drama about the final two (and there isn’t), you have to find some way to juice up the two episodes before the finale.

They’re not even trying to hide it anymore.

OMG

Luke, you are the winner (maybe)

We’ll get to ARB in a minute, but if last night’s “swerve” showed anything, it’s that the producers are trying to build the ARB vs. Luke drama by giving each a legit shot to win and at least one crucial flaw. The physical attraction between JoJo and Luke has been evident from the jump, but they’ve spent the past two episodes trying to show Luke is more than just great hair, a chiseled chin and an emotionless, empty soul of a human being with lips that barely move. I’ve been Team ARB from the jump, but last night’s date with Luke and family was enough to unnerve me at least slightly. JoJo fits into that whole Texas motif Luke has going and she very clearly would like to be not wearing clothes with him ASAP.

The question, of course, is whether Luke’s late-night love plea was enough to sway ARB out of the frontrunner spot. I’m still hesitant to name anyone other than ARB for that spot, but for the first time in a while (maybe all season), there’s at least a legit contender to the throne.

Jordan

 

The Rodgers Family drama

Here’s the thing about the Jordan-Aaron relationship: It was interesting when they didn’t talk about it, but it’s annoying as hell when all you do is dance around it without actually saying anything for 30 minutes. ARB legit said last night “it doesn’t need to be a topic,” but then JoJo (read: the producers) and the Rodgers family spent basically the entire date talking about how they don’t talk about or to Aaron. I get it. If Jordan won’t open up, if the family won’t open up, there’s nothing really there to talk about, but then, IDK, maybe spend more time on ARB and JoJo’s relationship instead? Crazy idea, I know.

I will say that ARB taking JoJo to his high school was the most real, “hey that’s something a normal person would do” date I’ve seen on this show. Also, we got another ARB-JoJo makeout up against a hard surface in ARB’s high school library, which led to my fiancee giggling and yelling, “Do you know the Dewey Decimal system?!”

Go away, Chase

I don’t have much to say about Chase’s date. It was dumb. He’s dumb. The whole thing was dumb and a waste of time. I’m fairly convinced JoJo enjoyed drinking with Chase’s mom on that ski lift chair more than hanging with Chase.

Also, I kind of felt bad for Chase’s dad. The entire family got a full dinner and hang session at his mom’s house, but JoJo and Chase spent 15 minutes in the undecorated basement of his dad’s lame condo. JoJo didn’t even get one-on-one time with his dad. SAD.

(Side note: Did Chase’s mom have that ski lift chair/bench thing already or did the ABC producers rent it? Can you buy one of those things on eBay and if so, does it come complete with a perfectly-placed faux-fur throw blanket?)

What are the right reasons?

Here’s the thing about Robbie and JoJo. There’s really nothing there. I mean sure, they’re attracted to each other and they seem like they have fun together, but all of this love stuff and talking about how great their connection is — it’s all bull.

(She couldn’t tell ARB’s mom or Luke’s mom that she was falling for them but she drops it to Robbie’s mom? Yeah, cool.)

But really, the worst part of this date was the constant theme of whether Robbie is over his ex and really there for JoJo (God I can’t believe I just wrote that). The truth is that JoJo got dumped by Ben at basically the same time Robbie broke up with his ex. And I haven’t heard Robbie dropping his ex’s name three times a week for the past two months. So, really JoJo, if you’re going to interrogate someone for not being over their ex, maybe you should stop comparing every guy to Ben and dropping his name every time you need to illustrate how hard it is for you to trust someone.

But that’s just me.

Robbie

Random notes

  • Luke met JoJo on the train tracks in what looked like an abandoned Old West town and it was the most normal intro to any of the dates. This ain’t the Notebook, guys. It’s OK to meet at someone’s apartment.
  • The original version of this recap contained roughly 17 inappropriate jokes about Chase’s childhood and divorce, but I chose to omit them for safety’s sake.
  • Did JoJo keep Chase around because he’s a salesman from Colorado?
  • Aaron Rodgers looks exactly like his mom — including the hair.
  • Who else noticed how fast JoJo turned on that southern accent for Robbie’s family and that Texas accent for Luke’s family?
  • Why did Robbie have plastic wine glasses inside of another plastic glass? Your familyI[ can’t be trusted with just ONE plastic glass?
  • I’m convinced Luke and his dad have never talked for more than 5 minutes at a time before the producers staged that talk Monday night.

Quote of the week

From the fiancee…

“Oh! It’s fantasy suites next week. They gon’ bang. Oh, they gon’ bang.”

JoJo suite‘TIL NEXT WEEK.

Joey Chestnut downs a record 74 franks for 11th title

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Defending champion Joey “Jaws” Chestnut chomped down a record 74 franks and buns to take home his 11th title at the annual Nathan’s Famous July Fourth hot dog eating contest.

The renowned competitive eater from San Jose, California, takes home the coveted Mustard Belt and surpassed the previous mark of 72 dogs and buns he downed last year.

The heat wasn’t a factor; the National Weather Service put the temperature at 83 degrees with a heat index of 91 degrees.

Miki Sudo said after eating 37 dogs and buns that the heat may have slowed her down in winning the women’s competition.

That didn’t stop the Las Vegas eater from easily beating out second-place finisher Mischelle Lesco of Tuscon, Arizona, who chowed down 28 wieners and buns.

Joey Chestnut heavy betting favorite on 2018 Hot Dog contest odds

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It boils down not to “if,” but “how many?” when it comes to Joey Chestnut and the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Chestnut, who’s won in 10 of the last 11 years, is an overwhelming -550 favorite against the field to prevail again in the July 4 competitive eating contest that takes place in Coney Island, New York, according to sportsbooks monitored by OddsShark.com.

The rest of the field is listed at +325 to pull off the upset (stomach), but it seems telling that Matt Stonie, the only competitive eater who has out-gorged Chestnut in the last decade, has had a two-year decline in the total of hot dogs and buns consumed since his triumph in 2015.

The reality that Chestnut might be competing against himself could be a tip on how to handle over/under on his 72.5 total. Chestnut has improved his record in three of his last four wins and has consumed at least 68 hot dogs and buns five times, so getting the over – which pays +160, to the -210 for the under – would seem projectable.

Carmen Cincotti, who will mark his 25th birthday on the day of the contest, has emerged as an up-and-coming challenger. The total on Cincotti’s consumption is 59.5, with the over still holding decent value at -190, to +145 for the under.

The alternate lines for the winner’s total – 68.5 and 66.5 – are very low-risk, but also very low-yield plays.

Four-time women’s champion Miki Sudo is also a -550 favorite on the 2018 hot dog contest odds to win her division, with the field priced at +400. Sudo crushed a record 41 hot dogs and buns in 2017, while runner-up Michelle Lesco finished with 32.5.

The over/under on the total for the women’s winner is a toss-up at 41.5, paying -120 either way, and Sudo is likely the only one in the field with a legitimate shot at it. Sudo has finished at least 38 hot dogs and buns in three consecutive years.

In head-to-head props, Sudo is also offering -500 against +300 challenger Sonya Thomas, who won back in 2014. Thomas finished with 30 hot dogs in 2017.

For more odds information, betting picks and a breakdown of this week’s top sports betting news check out the OddsShark podcast with Jon Campbell and Andrew Avery. Subscribe on iTunes or listen to it at OddsShark.libsyn.com.