The Bachelorette Recap Week 3.1: Bad Chad, Failed Football Players and the next Bachelor

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It’s a two-part, two-episode Bachelorette week! That means TWO, yes TWO hastily-compiled, moderately-incomplete Bachelorette recaps from your 17th-favorite recapper.

It was another Chad-centric week, although this one felt even more combative than last week’s deli meat extrvaganze. Also, we finally got a bit more of the presumptive favorite, Aaron Rodgers’ brother and the random “surprise” country performance in the middle of a date. What if the date doesn’t like country? What if they want Future or Gucci? What if they’re more of an 80’s Joel head? I feel like the Bachelor franchise is really invested in propping up country artists 30 seconds at a time. Personally, I’d rather lose my mind to some March Madness than be serenaded by the 175th song to talk about pickup trucks, red solo cups and dogs.

Anyway, date songs and Chad antics aside (we’ll get there), this week also saw another fairly important development:

MVP

James Taylor is here for the crown!

I’ll admit, the guitar schtick seemed pretty stupid at first (it still is), but JoJo seems to be digging the “dude playing at the open mic 2-3 years too late) vibe JT is putting out. There was definitely a connection when he sang whatever that was on the top of the car. To me, they seem like high school sweethearts who stay together two years too long into college before she leaves him and immediately starts dating the put-together dude in her Psych 302 class.

That said, I think JT is here for a long time and I’m dubbing him the early favorite for the next Bachelor.

The two sides of Chad

Within a 20-minute span, my fiancee said something along the lines of “Chad’s right!” and “Chad is such a (word we can’t use here)!” Thus is the dichotomy of Chad. At once, he’s the most honest person I’ve ever seen on this show and yet that honesty, and the “ALLEGED” roid rage, make him inherently unlikable for long stretches. At once, you want to see more of Chad and see him potentially get punched in the face.

On a related note, Chad’s exit seems to be rapidly approaching, which is a tad surprising. Although I never thought he’d last THAT long, it seems JoJo is far less willing to put up with his crazy mood swings than Ben was with Olivia last season. There’s also a 38-percent chance Chad gets sent home for turning into Wolverine at the pool party in part two of this week.

Chad is right about Evan

Look, no one condones bullying and Chad has definitely gone way too far, but Chad is probably on to something when he says Evan was bullied his whole life and picked this moment to fight back. You have one chance to impress JoJo and you use it to pick a fight and make fun of someone else (WHILE ROCKING THAT HAIRCUT.)? And then you throw down an ultimatum that Chad’s gotta go AND chase down Chris Harrison?!

(Side note: Chris Harrison literally had the “Dude, have you ever watched the show before” face on during that entire talk with Evan. He couldn’t have given less of an eff.)

Chad might be a jerk, but Evan is annoying.

Security rent-a-cops

Does anyone think any of those “security guards” could stop Chad if Chad really decided to unleash berserker mode? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Wanted: Gym setup in house full of workout freaks

Why are the guys lifting weights on a random box in front of the pool? Is there really no gym setup in this house? That seems like a short-sighted move by the showrunners.

Or, and hear me out here, did Chad bring all of those weights with him to the show and refuses to use the gym? I need this question answered.

Aaron Rodgers’ brother

Jordan seemed like a lock for the final two after the first week, but he’s been a background player for most of the past two weeks. We did get an awesome tete-a-tete with ARB and Chad, which Chad simultaneously won and lost (as he’s wont to do) with the “You’re a 27-year-old failed football player” jab.

I’m gonna need to see more from ARB if we’re going to realize my goal of seeing Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn having dinner with JoJo at mom and dad’s house.

Random notes

  • JoJo really likes the nails on the back of the neck thing. I can’t tell if she uses it when she’s into the moment or if it’s just her thing.
  • Is JoJo ever going to go on one of these one-on-one dates and not give out the rose? Give me some suspense, people.
  • What the hell was James Taylor doing with the suspenders during the swing dancing date? He just refused to attach the back of them. Did he think we wouldn’t notice or was it some sort of silent protest to having to wear them for the shot? He took them off pretty quickly into the date but then they were back on for the confessionals. This would be one of my first questions during “The Men Tell All.”
  • “I think you’re an unbelievable father.” JoJo actually said that to Evan this week despite knowing him for a week and never having met his kids to seen him as a parent. This is just as ridiculous as last weeks’ SportsNation “proposals.”
  • Luke looks like a failed country singer.
  • Aaron Rodgers’ brother really needs to work on that one clump of hair that goes rogue every single week. It’s distracting, dude.

Quote of the week

There was a lot to work with this week, but I’m going to go with maybe the most ridiculous out-of-context quote in the time I’ve watched this show.

“Be less like Hitler, be more like Mussolini.” — Drunk Canadian Dude to Chad.

Strong effort from DCD this week. He gained major fiancee points by confronting Chad and telling him to be a moderate-level dictator instead of a Grade-A word we can’t see here.

Tuesday night is going to be awesome.

Nassar victim: Michigan State leader offered secret payoff

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LANSING, Mich. – A sexual assault victim of former sports doctor Larry Nassar confronted Michigan State University officials on Friday, alleging the school’s interim leader offered a payoff to settle her lawsuit and pressured her to do so without her attorney present.

Kaylee Lorincz spoke during a contentious board of trustees meeting, where interim President John Engler expressed regret over the university’s response to another woman’s federal lawsuit over the schools handling of rape allegations involving basketball players. Lorincz, who has said Larry Nassar sexually assaulted her when she sought treatment for back pain, said Engler and his attorney offered her $250,000 when the teen and her mother were at the school a few weeks ago to sign up to speak at Friday’s meeting.

According to Lorincz, Engler said to her, “Right now if I wrote you a check for $250,000 would you take it?”

Lorincz said Engler also claimed another Nassar victim had given him an amount she would consider to settle with the university. Lorincz said she felt “bullied” by the encounter.

Engler didn’t immediately respond to her comments. His spokeswoman, Emily Guerrant, said she was in the room during the conversation and does not remember Engler offering a dollar figure.

“My interpretation of the discussion was not that he was saying, `I’m offering you $250,000,”‘ she said. “It was a discussion about the civil litigation and how it was going on.”

Lorincz addressed Engler in a room brimming with protesters, parents and sexual assault victims of Nassar, now serving decades in prison for molesting women and girls and for possessing child pornography. Lorincz was among roughly 250 women who gave statements earlier this year during Nassar’s sentencing hearings in two Michigan courtrooms.

In a separate case, a woman filed a lawsuit Monday saying the university’s counselors discouraged her from filing a police report after three Michigan State basketball players allegedly raped her in 2015. She accuses the school of violating Title IX protocol and claims staff made it clear that “she faced an uphill battle that would create anxiety and unwanted media attention” should she report her rape.

The university’s immediate response to reporters asking about the lawsuit was to decline comment. But on Wednesday it issued a lengthy statement that detailed staff interaction with the woman.

The university faced criticism over that response from people who say it violated privacy laws.

Engler acknowledged Friday that the school “provided an unnecessary amount of detail” about the case, saying some people saw the response as “violating privacy expectations.”

Engler became interim president after Lou Anna Simon resigned in January hours after Nassar was sentenced to decades in prison for crimes involving Michigan State athletes. Students remain anxious over the future course of the university, which has yet to choose a permanent replacement for Simon.

In Friday’s board meeting, Engler attempted to steer focus toward celebrating milestones of the university’s graduating seniors but was frequently usurped by boos and jeers from a crowd clad in teal shirts with the phrase, “I stand with the sister survivors (hash)MeTooMSU.” Some Nassar victims wrapped their mouths with black bands that had the phrase “Silenced” scrawled over them.

Parents of victims were left in the lobby downstairs because their posters of their children’s faces were considered “signs” and thus barred from the meeting room. Protesters who were able to attend instead held up cellphones with childhood pictures of victims.

During the meeting, Engler proposed a 2.97 percent tuition increase, the third lowest in 20 years. Earlier he had teased the possibility of heavy tuition increases should the school’s lawsuits over the Nassar controversy continue to snowball financially.

During public testimony, Engler and his board were castigated for how he handled the public fallout over the past few months and repeatedly told to resign.

“You sponsored my assault,” dancer Morgan McCaul, a Nassar victim, said. “Your time is up. Resign.”

As McCaul’s testimony concluded, the crowd joined her in chanting, “Shame on you,” at the board.

Sportscaster Dick Enberg dies at 82

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SAN DIEGO — Dick Enberg, the longtime sportscaster who got his big break with UCLA basketball and went on to call Super Bowls, Olympics, Final Fours and Angels and Padres baseball games, died Thursday. He was 82.

Engberg’s daughter, Nicole, confirmed the death to The Associated Press. She said the family became concerned when he didn’t arrive on his flight to Boston on Thursday, and that he was found dead at his home in La Jolla, a San Diego neighborhood, with his bags packed.

“He was dressed with his bags packed at the door,” wife Barbara told the Union-Tribune. “We think it was a heart attack.”

Enberg retired in October 2016 after a 60-year career – and countless calls of “Oh my!” in describing a play that nearly defied description. He also was well-known for his baseball catchphrase of “Touch `em all” for home runs.

Raised in Armada, Michigan, Enberg’s first radio job was actually as a radio station custodian in Mount Pleasant, Michigan, when he was a junior at Central Michigan. He made $1 an hour. The owner also gave him weekend sports and disc jockey gigs, also at $1 an hour. From there he began doing high school and college football games.

During his nine years broadcasting UCLA basketball, the Bruins won eight NCAA titles. Enberg broadcast nine no-hitters, including two by San Francisco’s Tim Lincecum against the Padres in 2013 and 2014.

He said the most historically important event he covered was “The Game of the Century,” Houston’s victory over UCLA in 1968 that snapped the Bruins’ 47-game winning streak.

“That was the platform from which college basketball’s popularity was sent into the stratosphere,” Enberg said. “The `79 game, the Magic-Bird game, everyone wants to credit that as the greatest game of all time That was just the booster rocket that sent it even higher. … UCLA, unbeaten; Houston, unbeaten. And then the thing that had to happen, and Coach Wooden hated when I said this, but UCLA had to lose. That became a monumental event.”

Enberg’s many former broadcast partners included Merlin Olsen, Al McGuire, Billy Packer, Don Drysdale and Tony Gwynn. He even worked a few games with Wooden, whom he called “The greatest man I’ve ever known other than my own father.” Enberg called Padres games for seven seasons and went into the broadcasters’ wing of the Hall of Fame in 2015.

John Ireland, the radio voice of the Los Angeles Lakers, tweeted that “If there was a Mount Rushmore of LA Sports Announcers, Dick Enberg is on it with Chick Hearn, Vin Scully and Bob Miller. Rams, Angels, UCLA, NBC, and so much more. Was the first famous announcer I ever met, and he couldn’t have been nicer. Definition of a gentleman.”

Enberg won 13 Sports Emmy Awards and a Lifetime Achievement Emmy. He received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and UCLA named its Media Center in Pauley Pavilion after Enberg this year.

“Kindest, most proactive possible treatment of newcomers in this business, for the length of his career,” broadcaster Keith Olbermann said of Enberg on Twitter. “What a terrible loss.”