The Bachelorette Recap Week 2: Protein powder, luggage pull-ups and deli meat extravaganza

Leave a comment

Adios, Aaron Rodgers’ brother. Hello, Chad. This was the week of the Meathead and my lord has there ever been a better (or worse) advertisement for protein powder, travel luggage and deli meat.

I’ve heard a lot of guys say the Bachelor is a better watch — for all the stereotypical reasons you’re probably thinking — but this week’s episode of the Bachelorette was proof positive there isn’t much as uniquely enjoyable as a bunch of yoked-up, steroided (is that a word?) DudeBros pitted against each other and forced to mansplain what it really means to be in love.

So, without further adieu…

MVP

I can’t even imagine the look on the producers’ faces when they put together the footage from this week. Chad dominated the episode the same way he dominated those luggage pull-ups. It was like watching Sammy Sosa in 1998. You know there’s some sort of strange and possibly banned substance fueling the madness, but it’s just so damn entertaining. It’s hard to put everything he did into cogent sentences, so here’s my Chad notes in chronological order of the show:

  • Chad seems like a massive jerk. Producer edit?
  • Is there no gym in the house, Chad? He really just put all his protein powders in a suitcase and did pull-ups on a gondola. Seriously.
  • Chad is both the most real and the biggest ass.
  • Chad and Drunk Canadian Dude are BFFs and it’s perfect.
  • Chad is Olivia.
    • This deserves a sub-bullet because I’m damn proud of this realization. We can only hope the producers force JoJo string Chad along for long enough to dump him crying on an island in the rain in the middle of nowhere.
  • Chad makes some pretty fair points during the SportsNation segment.
  • Chad is eating a lot of deli meats.
  • Chad is eating again!!
  • Holy crap, is Chad eating deli meats during the rose ceremony? Yep, he is.

Chad, man. You are a hero to meatheads everywhere.

One more on Chad

Yes, there’s a lot of Chad in this recap, but can we circle back and talk about his SportsNation moment? Yeah, you probably shouldn’t call the Bachelorette a nag, but he was DEAD RIGHT about all of the dudes on this show. They met this woman days ago and they’re supposed to explain all the ways they love her? You might be a massive tool Chad, but you were the most honest guy on a fake reality TV show designed to sell “love” and jack up Instagram followers.

Ben

I asked my fiancee at one point, “How many times has Ben been mentioned?” I lost count, but it seems like it should be a bit of warning sign that JoJo can’t stop talking about her ex. Just saying.

Ridiculous professions

This week: “Hipster.” “Bachelor Superfan.” “Former Pro Quarterback.” Tremendous. I’m looking forward to the day someone lists “Tweeter.”

Aaron Rodgers’ brother

Quiet week for the (still) frontrunner, but a couple notes here.

  • One, how many times are you gonna mention Aaron? I might have to start counting.
  • THAT’S your TD dance, bro?

Random observations

  • One week after talking about how she wanted kisses to be special, JoJo is making out with EVERYONE.
  • That one dude who got a rose and was wearing a half-zip sweater probably has a closet full of half-zips.
  • Who wrote that JoJo song and why hasn’t it been released on someone’s SoundCloud account, yet?
  • Did Max Kellerman wear the three-piece suit because he knew he was going to be on Bachelorette?

Quote of the week

There were so many from Chad to pick from, but I’ll go with a low-key hilarious one:

“It was like the Care Bears surrounded you and told you they were gonna kick your ass.”

Two episodes next week! Twice the Chad! Oh boy.

New Jersey sports betting market closing in on $1B mark

AP Images
Leave a comment

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. — New Jersey’s sports betting market is closing in on the $1 billion dollar mark after less than six months of operation.

Figures released Wednesday by the state Division of Gaming Enforcement show New Jersey’s casino and racetrack-based sports books took in over $330 million worth of bets in November.

Gamblers in the state have plunked down $928 million on sports events since sports betting began in mid-June.

The $21.2 million that sports books kept from that money, along with another strong month of internet gambling, helped Atlantic City’s casinos post an increase of nearly 25 percent in gambling revenue in November, compared with a year ago.

The casinos won $257 million from gamblers in November.

There are two more casinos operating this November than there were a year ago.

Joey Chestnut downs a record 74 franks for 11th title

Getty Images
2 Comments

Defending champion Joey “Jaws” Chestnut chomped down a record 74 franks and buns to take home his 11th title at the annual Nathan’s Famous July Fourth hot dog eating contest.

The renowned competitive eater from San Jose, California, takes home the coveted Mustard Belt and surpassed the previous mark of 72 dogs and buns he downed last year.

The heat wasn’t a factor; the National Weather Service put the temperature at 83 degrees with a heat index of 91 degrees.

Miki Sudo said after eating 37 dogs and buns that the heat may have slowed her down in winning the women’s competition.

That didn’t stop the Las Vegas eater from easily beating out second-place finisher Mischelle Lesco of Tuscon, Arizona, who chowed down 28 wieners and buns.