WWE

WWE Raw Recap: Championship controversy heading into 2016 WWE Draft

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If you’re a wrestling fan, chances are you’re currently in a state of delirium because right now we’re in the middle of an incredible stretch of shows/news.

– A dream match between Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Finn Balor on NXT this past Wednesday.

– The debut of the Cruiserweight Classic.

– Brock Lesnar popped by USADA on Friday for failing a drug test in late June.

– The announcement of the GMs for Raw and SmackDown.

– The beginning of New Japan Pro Wrestling’s G1 tournament.

– A WWE title match between Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose on Raw.

The 2016 WWE Draft on Tuesday’s SmackDown Live.

– The Battleground Pay-Per-View this Sunday.

What a time to be alive.

VInce

On top of the craziness, the WWE actually released some rules for the draft over the weekend:

Those are nice, but which two lucky humans were going to get “picked” by Stephanie and Shane to become the general managers of both Raw and SmackDown Live?

We didn’t have to wait long on Monday night to get an answer.

YES, YES

Late last week, rumors of Daniel Bryan becoming the GM for SmackDown surfaced on the Internet and sure enough those rumors became reality when Shane introduced Bryan in the opening segment.

Before the crowd went wild for Bryan, Stephanie introduced her general manager:

Foleygif

It wasn’t a surprise to see Foley announced as Raw’s GM, but it was a bit underwhelming IMO. With the ultimate babyface GM on SmackDown, it was surprising not to see another heel authority figure with Stephanie (HI ERIC BISCHOFF).

Despite creative’s best efforts to create a rivalry between Bryan and Foley, Mick just doesn’t feel like he’s going to be a permanent figure on Raw. His exit may have been foreshadowed when Shane told Foley that he needed to watch out during their backstage segment.

On a more positive note, it’s great to see Bryan back in the world of professional wrestling. When Bryan gave his emotional goodbye a few months ago, it was fair to wonder if we would ever see him again on WWE programming. He wasn’t ready to retire and openly discussed how painful it was to be around professional wrestling when he found out that he could no longer compete.

Now he’s back in a big way. His commentary work with Mauro Ranallo on the Cruiserweight Classic was wonderful and he’s going to excel in his role as the SmackDown GM.

skelator

Up in the Air

Raw signed off on Monday night with Rollins holding the WWE title on the ramp after Stephanie announced him the winner of the match, but the road to that moment was a bit off course to say the least.

The match itself between Rollins and Ambrose was solid and really picked up towards the end. The crowd really bought the near fall after Rollins hit the pedigree, but the actual finish of the match was so odd that I can’t even explain it, so just watch this clip:

I found the finish strange because it was clearly done to drive viewers to tonight’s SmackDown Live, but there’s a little thing called the draft that’s taking place. Fans are already going to tune in, so why did we need to have such a confusing finish? It just felt unnecessary.

It made sense that Stephanie would announce Seth as the winner because creative could create a situation where Steph comes out on Tuesday night, picks Seth first, but then the title is given back to Ambrose after Shane drafts The Dude to SmackDown.

Nope

Instead Ambrose was given the title back in a segment that was shot after the show that ended on the Network. For some reason, Mike Cole wasn’t given the instructions to drive people to the Network after Raw went off of the air, so if you didn’t have the livestream of the Network up at 11:06, you would have had no idea that Ambrose was given the title back.

The two will have a rematch for the title at the draft, which is perfectly justifiable, but the fact that the conclusion to the main event wasn’t shown on TV or promoted correctly is beyond ridiculous. Why not save the announcement for the beginning of SmackDown and then announce the rematch in the opening segment to create a hook for the end of the show?

Walking on the Sky With a Micsaber

Enzo Amore might very well be the best talker in the entire WWE right now, but his shtick had become a bit underwhelming. He has been constantly repeating lines that he used in NXT. I know that he needs to re-use some of these lines because there’s a good chunk of people who watch WWE, but don’t tune into NXT.

But man ‘Zo was on a stretch where he went from boneless chicken tenders, to ZERO DIMES, to 3.14 time to eat your pie. Amore’s greatest hits playlist was on repeat, but then he added a new track to it on Monday, which was much needed:

Cena playing dumb was a real waste. There was an opportunity there for the Dr. of Thuganomics to make his return and spit some lines about The Club, but alas it was not to be.

Match Results

Sami Zayn & Cesaro beat Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens after Zayn pinned Jericho with a small package.

Darren Young pinned Alberto Del Rio after The Miz tried to distract Young, but it backfired.

The Club & The Wyatts beat The New Day, John Cena, Enzo & Big Cass thanks to a Styles Clash to Enzo. The Clash always looks excellent when it’s hit on a smaller guy. This was the Match of the Night.

Baron Corbin pinned Sin Cara in two minutes after the End of Days.

Sasha Banks & Becky Lynch beat Dana Brooke & Charlotte by DQ after Natalya came down to the ring and attacked Becky. Dana and Charlotte laid out Sasha after the match.

Rusev & Sheamus defeated Zack Ryder and Sheamus when Rusev forced Ziggler to submit to The Accolade.

Seth Rollins was awarded the WWE title after a controversial finish with Dean Ambrose.

JLaw

Time to “Go Home”

– Stephanie just casually threw out a bombshell during the opening promo. The cruiserweight division is coming back and it’s going to be exclusively on Raw. Does this mean that the guys who have been signed from the CWC are coming up as opposed to going to NXT? (Besides Kota Ibushi, NXT needs him with the raid that’s about to take place.)

– Does the Golden Truth or The Ascension have a lower probability of being drafted during the SmackDown Live broadcast?

– Foley totally forgot one of his lines during the opening promo and had to ask Stephanie what he needed to say next.

– The standoff between Big Cass and Braun Stroman actually made me want to see that match.

– Until you remember how green Stroman is in the ring.

– I love how Anderson is getting his #hotasianwife over. The crowd responds every time he brings her up.

– Enzo’s shoe closet must be insane.

– There was a bit of tension teased between AJ Styles and Bray Wyatt during the 12-man tag. It was very subtle.

– Your weekly reminder that Kevin Owens steals every segment that he’s in:

– The Shield triple threat is obviously the highlight of Battleground, but I personally can’t wait to see Zayn vs. Owens. These two are likely going to get split up at the draft, so you would have to imagine that there will be an extra level of intensity during their brawl.

– Bayley has to be Sasha’s mystery partner right?

– The empty arena promo from Rollins was…interesting. It was a cool shot and felt different, which is always nice, but I found the setting to be distracting. It took away from the impact of Rollins’ promo.

– On the other hand, Ambrose’s camera promo was fantastic. I wish he would do more promos like this because it fits his character so well. I just hope the next time he cuts a promo like this a different filter is used because this one looked SO fake.

– How fake?

– Faker than Taylor Swift.

Twitter: @ScottDargis

WWE: Let’s analyze that odd LaVar Ball segment from Raw

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We finally got to see what LaVar Ball’s gigantic personality would look and sound like in a professional wrestling ring and it was … something. The phrase train wreck comes to mind, but I’m not sure that accurately describes what took place at the Staples Center.

You see, professional wrestling isn’t easy. Whether it’s with worked punches or words, you have to be able to bounce off of the other person you’re in the ring with and that’s something Ball proved he could not do despite being in the ring with one of WWE’s best talkers.

Here’s the full segment:

Now there’s a lot to unpack here, but I’m going to do my best.

Let’s start with LaVar’s entrance. He’s being accompanied by his youngest son LaMelo, who will play a much bigger role later on, but for now, let’s just focus on how LaVar “runs” to the ring.

LaVar is immediately booed by a majority of the crowd, but as soon as he mentions the Lakers and Lonzo Ball, the crowd roars with approval.

Lonzo gets his own entrance, as he should, but for some reason he’s rocking a sock-sandle combo that doesn’t translate well to WWE programming.

The Miz is a true pro and proved it after he gave Lonzo the opportunity to speak to the Staples Center crowd for the first time. Ball’s eldest son is a very quiet person, so he was understandably brief, but Miz wasn’t going to let this moment pass. He hyped up Lonzo and the crowd did respond positively.

After the Miz declared that he and LaVar should be business partners (I want a triple Bs and M shirt), the segment began to crumble. When LaVar told Miz that he wasn’t on the same level as himself, the Staples Center immediately began to cheer The Miz as a babyface who fired up and asked LaVar and Lonzo how many championships they’ve won.

After Lonzo said three, Miz delivered the line of the segment:

“Did UCLA win this year?”

Here are LaVar’s next set of lines:

“Now we know what The Miz stands for! Misinterpreted Zone” (Which doesn’t make sense it’s only two words.)

“Or it stands for A Million Zippers!” (That’s even worse!)

When Miz refers to LaVar’s comments about how he would beat Michael Jordan one-on-one, the crowd has had enough of Ball. He got booed louder than Roman Reigns, which is an achievement.

Ball’s retort: “Like I said before, there’s only two dudes better than me and I’m both of them!”

Miz then refers to himself as the Michael Jordan of WWE (……) and then LaVar tells LaMelo to “handle his lightweight.”

Miz responds with another great line: “Oh what you’re going to unleash all of the balls on me?”

When Miz tells LaVar he wants him to backup his mouth, Ball responds with his signature catchphrase “stay in yo lane,” which is just mind-numbing if you know where the phrase originated.

(Yes LaMelo wore a “Stay in yo lane” shirt that LaVar’s brand is selling.)

When the Miz gets “serious” and says “or what LaVar,” Ball responds “or the hunt is on and you’re the prey.” But instead of delivering it in a serious tone, Ball has a huge grin on his face and is about to start cracking up.

I can’t even describe what happened next:

Then Dean Ambrose’s music hits and then the segment somehow managed to get even weirder.

As Ambrose walked out onto the stage, LaMelo suddenly realized he had a live microphone with the opportunity to say whatever he wanted and this happened (NSFW, NSFW):

I would pay 10 dollars to see what Vince McMahon’s reaction was backstage. If you know anything about how strict Vince is with segments, you know that he had to be absolutely fuming and what happened next probably made him break something.

After Ambrose stops smiling because he heard what LaMelo said and begins his promo, Ball CUTS HIM OFF. But what LaVar didn’t realize was, he actually stopped Ambrose right as he was about to talk up Big Baller Brand for giving him a free shirt.

However, because Ambrose does this for a living he was able to get through his promo and the segment quickly ended after that.

We’ve seen LaVar Ball cut promo after promo leading up to and during the 2017 NBA Draft, but when he was placed in world of pro wrestling, we found out that he was out of his league.

Twitter: @ScottDargis

WWE: One-on-One with Daniel Bryan

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Before Daniel Bryan makes his return to SmackDown Live this Tuesday night at 8 p.m. ET on USA, I had the chance to chat with him about #DadLife, why WWE needs to change how they’re presenting their stars, the independent guys who have the best chance of making it and the one guy he’d love to wrestle in New Japan Pro Wrestling.

Hey Daniel, so everyone who I told about this interview wanted me to wish you a happy Father’s Day …

“Oh, well thank you!”

… So let’s start there. Is there one word that you can use to describe how yesterday felt?

“Gosh … I suppose just blessed? I feel like I live a very blessed life right now.”

Has there been anything in the month since your daughter has been born that has caught you off guard, or have you been pretty much prepared for everything that’s come?

“I mean I don’t think you can ever be fully prepared for parenthood when your first child comes. I mean, maybe some people can. I had never changed a diaper before our baby was born [laughs]. I’m really learning on the job you know?

I thought I was the world’s most patient man. Brie sometimes gets frustrated with my patience [laughs], but what I’ve realized through having a child is, man I really need to work on my patience. I’d be changing a diaper and I have a real aversion to poop and pee, so I’m slow in doing just about everything. I take it off, I clean her and I’m like OK I’m doing really good. Then she pees and I’m like oh no, now I have to clean her again. Then she starts pooping again and now I have poop all over me. So now I start to get frustrated [laughs].

You have to constantly work on yourself and understand the things that you need to get better at.”

And this is the stage where all they do is poop or pee, just wait until she starts moving around.

“[Laughs] It was really hard for me because every time I would hold her or interact with her, in the first few weeks especially, she was crying. She was either sleeping, which was awesome because I would be holding her and she looked so peaceful and happy, but when she was awake, she looks at me and the only thing she wants from me is to change her diaper, but when I’m changing her diaper, she’s very unhappy. When I’m changing her clothes, she’s very unhappy and the only time she stops being unhappy is when I hand her to Brie and Brie starts feeding her [laughs]. When do I get to do the stuff that makes her happy!?”

Switching gears a bit, now that you’ve been in the role of SmackDown GM for almost a year, how would you assess your performance on-screen?

“Um … I don’t know. I would say a solid B-plus [laughs]. I always feel like there’s things that I can do better. I always strive to be the best that I can in any given role that I’m given. I always think that I can do better on things like Talking Smack and when I’m doing interviews and that sort of thing. How do we best make our fans excited for SmackDown Live? What is the best things that we can do to help the fans relate to the superstars?

We’ve had our hits and our misses, but I’d like to think over the last year that we’ve had more hits than misses.”

It seems like it didn’t take you long to get comfortable in the role. Was it easy to pick it up and run with it?

“Yeah … it’s just a natural extension of wrestling in the WWE. If you would have had me do this when I started with WWE seven years ago, I would have been horrible at it. But during my time with WWE I got more and more talking experience and now all I do is talk, so I’ve been able to get more comfortable with it.”

Scale of 1-10, how much fun is it to let loose on Talking Smack?

“I don’t really view it in a scale of 1-10. Sometimes when I’m talking about things that I know I shouldn’t be talking about [laughs] it raises those parts in your brain that excites you and makes you happy. For example, when I refer to James Ellsworth as “The Big Hog” I don’t think anyone really appreciates that other than me and some of the viewers. It makes me chuckle.

I consider a 10 as the happiest or the most fun that I have. A 10 would be doing something really fun with my wife and daughter. Just yesterday we went to a place to eat and Birdie was cooing and smiling and Brie and I were having a great time. That’s just the best. Talking Smack on its best day can get to like a six or a seven. Once you have this idea of where your true happiness lies, it changes your perspective.”

So as I got ready for this year’s Money in the Bank I went back and watched some of the older shows and the level of talent that is on the entire roster now in comparison to five to seven years ago is pretty astounding, but I feel like the product as a whole in its current state is very stale. What tweaks do you think need to be made in order to give the WWE a spark of excitement?

“I think a change of presentation is absolutely necessary. I think the way that we present our superstars probably needs to change. Years ago, [WWE] went through with this idea of having as much live stuff as possible on the shows, but I think when you watch say UFC for example, some of the things that are the most endearing, that make you care the most about the fighters are these backstage vignettes that show their real personality. You’ll see great fights that people will cheer maybe because they’re great fights, but the fights that have the most impact are the ones with fighters who people actually care about.

I think one of the things that really endeared me to people was that people got to view more aspects of my personality than most because of the different things that I did within WWE. Seeing performers frustrated and being able to show that on TV and being able to show their experiences, their reactions to what’s happening to them on the show and doing backstage vignettes. There was a great one on NXT about Roderick Strong recently about being a new dad and all of that kind of stuff.

Since I’ve been gone, they’ve been doing some really fun stuff with the Fashion Police. Not that there needs to be more of that exact kind of stuff, but it helps people get to know their personalities.

I think one of our failings on SmackDown Live was American Alpha. They’re great and on NXT they did all of these fun little interview segments with the two of them that got to show the people behind American Alpha. (They saw) who Chad Gable is, who Jason Jordan is. I’d like to do more of that kind of stuff.

In combat sports, personalities are what draw. Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao was one of the worst boxing matches I’ve ever seen, but millions of people watched it because of the personalities involved.

I think changing that dynamic and highlighting the personalities is something we really need to do. Now, I don’t know how we do it. I think if anybody has a magic answer of what the best way is to present personalities in this modern day of television, they’d make millions of dollars, so I may not have the answer.”

Time for the speed round

Best WWE match you’ve seen this year?

“Oh gosh that’s hard … so I was watching the NXT Takeover from Chicago and I really loved the Tyler Bate and Pete Dunne match. That’s my style of wrestling. Pete Dunne working over the wrists and manipulating finger joints is kind of attention to detail I really enjoy.

It’s hard because we get so many matches all of the time that are awesome. I really liked the AJ Styles-John Cena match from the Royal Rumble. Watching AJ Styles on a weekly basis is a constant pleasure.”

Best non-WWE match you’ve seen this year?

“There was a Minoru Suzuki-Kazuchika Okada match from New Japan (Pro Wrestling) that was my style of wrestling. Forty minutes, lots of submission stuff, it was really cool. I think a lot of modern fans in the United States would have a hard time with it, especially if you’re used to WWE style, but I really enjoyed it.

Even though the matches are totally different I would put it right there in terms of match quality with Will Ospreay-KUSHIDA match from the Best of the Super Juniors final.

“So that was really good. I really enjoy KUSHIDA’s work. He’s one of the guys that I would love to have a chance to wrestle because he does so many awesome technical things.”

Who is the one “indie” guy who has the best chance of becoming a star in WWE?

“It’s hard to define any of these guys as ‘indie’ guys anymore because they all have contracts [laughs].

I have really enjoyed watching Matt Riddle. I think he has a ton of personality and a ton of charisma and he’s got that look that WWE really likes and the has history in UFC. I think if he were to get an opportunity in WWE, he would do really well.

I also think Kenny Omega if he were given an opportunity would absolutely kill it.”

Coolest move you’ve ever seen?

“So I define cool as different than most people [laughs]. My favorite thing in wrestling that I’ve tried to do a million times and can’t do it, is when Jerry Lawler punches somebody in the face. It’s the best! He does it better than just about anybody. He punches dudes right in the nose and I don’t know how he does it without breaking them. It’s magic!

How you view wrestling evolves as you become a bigger fan. When I was in high school, I saw Juventud Guerrera do a 450 splash and I was like that’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen! And then now it’s like watching Jerry Lawler punching someone in the face is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Is there one bump* you wish you could take off of your bump card? 

“There’s not a specific one. I feel like there wasn’t one big bump that caused any of my major problems. My neck problems came from years of wrestling a very hard style and my concussion stuff came from, hey I have a lot of concussions [laughs].

I think the one … actually I will say one. OK, in 2000 I did this ladder match and at this point I’d been wrestling for about six months. There was a 12-foot ladder and I jumped off of the top of the ladder that was in the ring and did a flip dive onto a guy that was on the floor, but I didn’t realize that I needed someone to hold the ladder, so the guy tried to catch me, but I just fell shoulder first onto my right shoulder and I’ve had right shoulder problems off and on since then. I also got a concussion in that match as well, so that match might have been the start of shoulder problems, which would then lead to other issues. If I could take that one away I would.

I honestly did a lot of stuff because for my size you have to do different stuff to get recognized. It’s different for someone like Randy Orton. When you’re tall and you’re good looking and your dad is a former WWE superstar, it’s a lot easier to get in the door. When you’re five-foot eight, don’t have really any natural charisma and you look like a normal guy who works out at the gym, you have to do some things to get noticed.”

*A bump is when a wrestler takes a move or does a big … dive, during a match.

Twitter: @ScottDargis