The Bachelorette Recap Week 6: ARB’s Brotherly Love, Horsing Around and Body Shame

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First, a disclosure: There is a distinct lack of fiancee quotes in this week’s recap. She fell asleep three separate times this week. Not that I blame her — we started watching around 10:30 p.m. ET and the endgame for this season is as obvious as Monday night’s horse love scene was awkward.

That said, there was still enough to digest and debate, including the BIG REVEAL about Aaron Rodgers’ brother’s brother. So away we go…


Luke is a 97-mph fastball. Robby is that 12-to-6, table-dropping curve. But ARB is that brutal slider that dives inside on lefties and makes righties look foolish. I’m not sure which way Luke and Robby bat, but they’re not getting a hit on ARB. Every time there’s a moment when you think they get a leg up on him, he turns JoJo drinking foot juice into a genuine moment between them.

Through six episodes, ARB is the only guy we’ve learned anything real about and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. These two have actual chemistry and he’s the only one I think JoJo actually wants to spend a lot of time with while they’re both wearing clothing. Plus, he dropped the L bomb and she never lost eye contact. See, Alex, THAT’S the proper reaction to telling someone you’re falling in love with them — not a deadpan and immediately looking away from the other person.

Also, every time you think there’s a secret or a storyline that’s going to ding ARB’s candidacy, he pulls out what he did last night.

The Aaron Rodgers question

The big reveal! ARB and AR are not actually friends. This isn’t news to those of us that traffic on the Interwebs, or in Bachelor(ette) podcasts (stop judging — you’re reading this), but it was pretty impressive how ARB managed to turn his brother’s fame and JoJo’s obvious interest in his brother’s fame into a plus for him and an emotional admission.

I think my two favorite parts of The Great Reveal were:

1) How JoJo brought it up like she was casually feeling around to see if she could share a bottle of rose with Olivia Munn at the hometown. How disappointed do you think she was internally when she found out she wasn’t going to be part of football’s new first family? Scale of 1-10, I’m guessing 7.5.

2) ARB came off both as sympathetic and bitter during the entire exchange. On one hand, he sounded like every younger brother ever. “Oh, it was so hard being less good at stuff than Aaron!” On the other, we have decades of history proving what our culture does to the OTHER sibling. Frank Stallone, Liam Hemsworth, Rob Kardashian. It’s so hard out there, ARB. We get it.

The Luke infatuation

If there’s a trend this season, it’s the producers doing everything they possibly can to make certain guys stand out. There was the fireman challenge earlier in the season and ARB’s football date. Monday’s Cowboy date with Luke was basically everything the producers could do to buoy his chances short of putting a heart-shaped bed in the middle of the field after that horse ride.

I think JoJo’s feeling toward Luke can be best summed up by the fiancee:

“She wanna RIDE. THAT. COWBOY!”

Pants check: Still on … for now.


Nah nah nah nah, hey, hey, hey… 

It’s kind of fitting that the episode was bookended by dual cowboy dates. If Luke’s date was 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥, Alex’s was 💩💩💩😍😯😕😡😐😤.

That love confession/non-reaction/goodbye serious of events was basically everything Alex deserved after he spent three weeks campaigning for a one-on-one date and then proceeded to try to eat her face with Pringles in between 15 minutes of not talking. Of course, that’s nothing compared the most physically uncomfortable “love” scene in the history of reality television. How uncomfortable was it? It’s hard to explain in words, so here’s some moving pictures:
Bachelorette horseBachelorette horse makeout

I can’t even begin to wrap my head around what happened. The horse trainer’s grossly close relationship to that horse, the make-out session on TOP of the horse with the awkwardly placed head or the fact that at one point the horse trainer was sitting NEXT to the horse WHILE JoJo and Alex made out on top of the horse. This whole scene blew my mind and I wish I never saw it and could erase it forever.


The worst

If it weren’t for the horse scene, James Taylor’s outward sniping and snitching against Robby would’ve been the worst part of the episode. That’s two weeks in a row we’ve seen James Taylor try to prop himself up by bringing another dude down with a totally useless complaint.

Oh, girls in countries are checking out Robby?! Go figure. Guess who else they’re checking out — ARB and Luke and Chase. You know why you’re upset, James? Because they’re not looking at you. You’re the dude who gets turned down at the bar so you spend the rest of the night trying to make sure no one else gets to talk to her.

You, James Taylor, are the worst, and I’m glad you’re gone. That “heartfelt” plea to JoJo after you were bounced doesn’t fool me. I know who you are.

James Taylor


Robby’s about to steal my fiancee

“AHHH! He’s SO hot, though. Ahhh! He is so good looking! Ahhh, he is SO good looking!”

“I think JoJo just wanted to see me without my clothes on.”

“Yup! She did. And SO DID I!”

I think Robby is going to steal my fiancee.

Random Notes

  • How in the world did that rap battle in the bus happen? Was it a producer’s idea? Did they all come up with it? Was there some Making the Band-like brainstorming scene in the hotel where they all scribbled their hottest lines on looseleaf paper? Also, how much would you pay for all of the music sang/rapped during this season? I would give iTunes at least $1.50 for all of it.
  • Note to all single/not-married guys — If you tell a woman you love her and her first words are “yeah, um…” just run out of the room and never look back.
  • That linger on Alex’s face when he realized he was about to get kicked off the show was so painful.
  • Pushing JoJo up against the wall for a kiss is ARB’s version of Aaron escaping the pocket and three would-be tacklers before throwing a 47-yard laser to Jordy Nelson.
  • Luke is the 2016 version of Wooderson from Dazed and Confused.
  • Also, does Luke have emotions? I’m seriously asking this.
  • How is Robby ready to get married four months after a breakup? Most poeple aren’t ready to spend a weekend away four months after a serious breakup.
  • James Taylor’s guitar is gonna crush Bachelor in Paradise.

Quote of the week

One last gem from the fiancee about Alex and JoJo’s horses date…

“She’s more excited about the horses than she is about him.”

Stay tuned for next week when we get to meet the least-interesting part of ARB’s family.

Nassar victim: Michigan State leader offered secret payoff

AP Images

LANSING, Mich. – A sexual assault victim of former sports doctor Larry Nassar confronted Michigan State University officials on Friday, alleging the school’s interim leader offered a payoff to settle her lawsuit and pressured her to do so without her attorney present.

Kaylee Lorincz spoke during a contentious board of trustees meeting, where interim President John Engler expressed regret over the university’s response to another woman’s federal lawsuit over the schools handling of rape allegations involving basketball players. Lorincz, who has said Larry Nassar sexually assaulted her when she sought treatment for back pain, said Engler and his attorney offered her $250,000 when the teen and her mother were at the school a few weeks ago to sign up to speak at Friday’s meeting.

According to Lorincz, Engler said to her, “Right now if I wrote you a check for $250,000 would you take it?”

Lorincz said Engler also claimed another Nassar victim had given him an amount she would consider to settle with the university. Lorincz said she felt “bullied” by the encounter.

Engler didn’t immediately respond to her comments. His spokeswoman, Emily Guerrant, said she was in the room during the conversation and does not remember Engler offering a dollar figure.

“My interpretation of the discussion was not that he was saying, `I’m offering you $250,000,”‘ she said. “It was a discussion about the civil litigation and how it was going on.”

Lorincz addressed Engler in a room brimming with protesters, parents and sexual assault victims of Nassar, now serving decades in prison for molesting women and girls and for possessing child pornography. Lorincz was among roughly 250 women who gave statements earlier this year during Nassar’s sentencing hearings in two Michigan courtrooms.

In a separate case, a woman filed a lawsuit Monday saying the university’s counselors discouraged her from filing a police report after three Michigan State basketball players allegedly raped her in 2015. She accuses the school of violating Title IX protocol and claims staff made it clear that “she faced an uphill battle that would create anxiety and unwanted media attention” should she report her rape.

The university’s immediate response to reporters asking about the lawsuit was to decline comment. But on Wednesday it issued a lengthy statement that detailed staff interaction with the woman.

The university faced criticism over that response from people who say it violated privacy laws.

Engler acknowledged Friday that the school “provided an unnecessary amount of detail” about the case, saying some people saw the response as “violating privacy expectations.”

Engler became interim president after Lou Anna Simon resigned in January hours after Nassar was sentenced to decades in prison for crimes involving Michigan State athletes. Students remain anxious over the future course of the university, which has yet to choose a permanent replacement for Simon.

In Friday’s board meeting, Engler attempted to steer focus toward celebrating milestones of the university’s graduating seniors but was frequently usurped by boos and jeers from a crowd clad in teal shirts with the phrase, “I stand with the sister survivors (hash)MeTooMSU.” Some Nassar victims wrapped their mouths with black bands that had the phrase “Silenced” scrawled over them.

Parents of victims were left in the lobby downstairs because their posters of their children’s faces were considered “signs” and thus barred from the meeting room. Protesters who were able to attend instead held up cellphones with childhood pictures of victims.

During the meeting, Engler proposed a 2.97 percent tuition increase, the third lowest in 20 years. Earlier he had teased the possibility of heavy tuition increases should the school’s lawsuits over the Nassar controversy continue to snowball financially.

During public testimony, Engler and his board were castigated for how he handled the public fallout over the past few months and repeatedly told to resign.

“You sponsored my assault,” dancer Morgan McCaul, a Nassar victim, said. “Your time is up. Resign.”

As McCaul’s testimony concluded, the crowd joined her in chanting, “Shame on you,” at the board.

Sportscaster Dick Enberg dies at 82

AP Photo

SAN DIEGO — Dick Enberg, the longtime sportscaster who got his big break with UCLA basketball and went on to call Super Bowls, Olympics, Final Fours and Angels and Padres baseball games, died Thursday. He was 82.

Engberg’s daughter, Nicole, confirmed the death to The Associated Press. She said the family became concerned when he didn’t arrive on his flight to Boston on Thursday, and that he was found dead at his home in La Jolla, a San Diego neighborhood, with his bags packed.

“He was dressed with his bags packed at the door,” wife Barbara told the Union-Tribune. “We think it was a heart attack.”

Enberg retired in October 2016 after a 60-year career – and countless calls of “Oh my!” in describing a play that nearly defied description. He also was well-known for his baseball catchphrase of “Touch `em all” for home runs.

Raised in Armada, Michigan, Enberg’s first radio job was actually as a radio station custodian in Mount Pleasant, Michigan, when he was a junior at Central Michigan. He made $1 an hour. The owner also gave him weekend sports and disc jockey gigs, also at $1 an hour. From there he began doing high school and college football games.

During his nine years broadcasting UCLA basketball, the Bruins won eight NCAA titles. Enberg broadcast nine no-hitters, including two by San Francisco’s Tim Lincecum against the Padres in 2013 and 2014.

He said the most historically important event he covered was “The Game of the Century,” Houston’s victory over UCLA in 1968 that snapped the Bruins’ 47-game winning streak.

“That was the platform from which college basketball’s popularity was sent into the stratosphere,” Enberg said. “The `79 game, the Magic-Bird game, everyone wants to credit that as the greatest game of all time That was just the booster rocket that sent it even higher. … UCLA, unbeaten; Houston, unbeaten. And then the thing that had to happen, and Coach Wooden hated when I said this, but UCLA had to lose. That became a monumental event.”

Enberg’s many former broadcast partners included Merlin Olsen, Al McGuire, Billy Packer, Don Drysdale and Tony Gwynn. He even worked a few games with Wooden, whom he called “The greatest man I’ve ever known other than my own father.” Enberg called Padres games for seven seasons and went into the broadcasters’ wing of the Hall of Fame in 2015.

John Ireland, the radio voice of the Los Angeles Lakers, tweeted that “If there was a Mount Rushmore of LA Sports Announcers, Dick Enberg is on it with Chick Hearn, Vin Scully and Bob Miller. Rams, Angels, UCLA, NBC, and so much more. Was the first famous announcer I ever met, and he couldn’t have been nicer. Definition of a gentleman.”

Enberg won 13 Sports Emmy Awards and a Lifetime Achievement Emmy. He received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and UCLA named its Media Center in Pauley Pavilion after Enberg this year.

“Kindest, most proactive possible treatment of newcomers in this business, for the length of his career,” broadcaster Keith Olbermann said of Enberg on Twitter. “What a terrible loss.”