The Bachelorette Recap Week 2: Protein powder, luggage pull-ups and deli meat extravaganza

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Adios, Aaron Rodgers’ brother. Hello, Chad. This was the week of the Meathead and my lord has there ever been a better (or worse) advertisement for protein powder, travel luggage and deli meat.

I’ve heard a lot of guys say the Bachelor is a better watch — for all the stereotypical reasons you’re probably thinking — but this week’s episode of the Bachelorette was proof positive there isn’t much as uniquely enjoyable as a bunch of yoked-up, steroided (is that a word?) DudeBros pitted against each other and forced to mansplain what it really means to be in love.

So, without further adieu…


I can’t even imagine the look on the producers’ faces when they put together the footage from this week. Chad dominated the episode the same way he dominated those luggage pull-ups. It was like watching Sammy Sosa in 1998. You know there’s some sort of strange and possibly banned substance fueling the madness, but it’s just so damn entertaining. It’s hard to put everything he did into cogent sentences, so here’s my Chad notes in chronological order of the show:

  • Chad seems like a massive jerk. Producer edit?
  • Is there no gym in the house, Chad? He really just put all his protein powders in a suitcase and did pull-ups on a gondola. Seriously.
  • Chad is both the most real and the biggest ass.
  • Chad and Drunk Canadian Dude are BFFs and it’s perfect.
  • Chad is Olivia.
    • This deserves a sub-bullet because I’m damn proud of this realization. We can only hope the producers force JoJo string Chad along for long enough to dump him crying on an island in the rain in the middle of nowhere.
  • Chad makes some pretty fair points during the SportsNation segment.
  • Chad is eating a lot of deli meats.
  • Chad is eating again!!
  • Holy crap, is Chad eating deli meats during the rose ceremony? Yep, he is.

Chad, man. You are a hero to meatheads everywhere.

One more on Chad

Yes, there’s a lot of Chad in this recap, but can we circle back and talk about his SportsNation moment? Yeah, you probably shouldn’t call the Bachelorette a nag, but he was DEAD RIGHT about all of the dudes on this show. They met this woman days ago and they’re supposed to explain all the ways they love her? You might be a massive tool Chad, but you were the most honest guy on a fake reality TV show designed to sell “love” and jack up Instagram followers.


I asked my fiancee at one point, “How many times has Ben been mentioned?” I lost count, but it seems like it should be a bit of warning sign that JoJo can’t stop talking about her ex. Just saying.

Ridiculous professions

This week: “Hipster.” “Bachelor Superfan.” “Former Pro Quarterback.” Tremendous. I’m looking forward to the day someone lists “Tweeter.”

Aaron Rodgers’ brother

Quiet week for the (still) frontrunner, but a couple notes here.

  • One, how many times are you gonna mention Aaron? I might have to start counting.
  • THAT’S your TD dance, bro?

Random observations

  • One week after talking about how she wanted kisses to be special, JoJo is making out with EVERYONE.
  • That one dude who got a rose and was wearing a half-zip sweater probably has a closet full of half-zips.
  • Who wrote that JoJo song and why hasn’t it been released on someone’s SoundCloud account, yet?
  • Did Max Kellerman wear the three-piece suit because he knew he was going to be on Bachelorette?

Quote of the week

There were so many from Chad to pick from, but I’ll go with a low-key hilarious one:

“It was like the Care Bears surrounded you and told you they were gonna kick your ass.”

Two episodes next week! Twice the Chad! Oh boy.

Sportscaster Dick Enberg dies at 82

AP Photo

SAN DIEGO — Dick Enberg, the longtime sportscaster who got his big break with UCLA basketball and went on to call Super Bowls, Olympics, Final Fours and Angels and Padres baseball games, died Thursday. He was 82.

Engberg’s daughter, Nicole, confirmed the death to The Associated Press. She said the family became concerned when he didn’t arrive on his flight to Boston on Thursday, and that he was found dead at his home in La Jolla, a San Diego neighborhood, with his bags packed.

“He was dressed with his bags packed at the door,” wife Barbara told the Union-Tribune. “We think it was a heart attack.”

Enberg retired in October 2016 after a 60-year career – and countless calls of “Oh my!” in describing a play that nearly defied description. He also was well-known for his baseball catchphrase of “Touch `em all” for home runs.

Raised in Armada, Michigan, Enberg’s first radio job was actually as a radio station custodian in Mount Pleasant, Michigan, when he was a junior at Central Michigan. He made $1 an hour. The owner also gave him weekend sports and disc jockey gigs, also at $1 an hour. From there he began doing high school and college football games.

During his nine years broadcasting UCLA basketball, the Bruins won eight NCAA titles. Enberg broadcast nine no-hitters, including two by San Francisco’s Tim Lincecum against the Padres in 2013 and 2014.

He said the most historically important event he covered was “The Game of the Century,” Houston’s victory over UCLA in 1968 that snapped the Bruins’ 47-game winning streak.

“That was the platform from which college basketball’s popularity was sent into the stratosphere,” Enberg said. “The `79 game, the Magic-Bird game, everyone wants to credit that as the greatest game of all time That was just the booster rocket that sent it even higher. … UCLA, unbeaten; Houston, unbeaten. And then the thing that had to happen, and Coach Wooden hated when I said this, but UCLA had to lose. That became a monumental event.”

Enberg’s many former broadcast partners included Merlin Olsen, Al McGuire, Billy Packer, Don Drysdale and Tony Gwynn. He even worked a few games with Wooden, whom he called “The greatest man I’ve ever known other than my own father.” Enberg called Padres games for seven seasons and went into the broadcasters’ wing of the Hall of Fame in 2015.

John Ireland, the radio voice of the Los Angeles Lakers, tweeted that “If there was a Mount Rushmore of LA Sports Announcers, Dick Enberg is on it with Chick Hearn, Vin Scully and Bob Miller. Rams, Angels, UCLA, NBC, and so much more. Was the first famous announcer I ever met, and he couldn’t have been nicer. Definition of a gentleman.”

Enberg won 13 Sports Emmy Awards and a Lifetime Achievement Emmy. He received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and UCLA named its Media Center in Pauley Pavilion after Enberg this year.

“Kindest, most proactive possible treatment of newcomers in this business, for the length of his career,” broadcaster Keith Olbermann said of Enberg on Twitter. “What a terrible loss.”

Sports world goes all-in on 2017 solar eclipse

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Nick Saban may not have had any interest in checking out today’s much-hyped solar eclipse, but he seems to be the only one in the sports world.

At least according to these epic #SolarEclipse2017 sports Twitter moments.

The NASCAR community was on point with their eclipse celebrations, seriously you’re missing out if you’re not following any of these teams/drivers on Twitter.

But they weren’t the only ones.

Justin Rose, Rickie Fowler, Jason Day and Billy Horschel weren’t the only golfers taking in the views (with proper glasses), Tiger Woods bought into the hype too.

The Rome Braves had their break, but Bartolo Colon watching the eclipse will be your moment of zen.

And remember, if you were truly amazed by #SolarEclipse2017 goalie Ilya Bryzgalov has some more mind-blowing universal knowledge for you.