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The Bachelorette Recap Week 1: Aaron Rodgers’ Brother and Drunk Dudes

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Some things you should know before reading: I started watching the Bachelor about a year ago, late into the season with that farmer from the Midwest who always seemed like dating him was more trouble than it was worth. Bachelor in Paradise is, in my personal opinion, the pinnacle of the Bachelor universe. And finally, if MTV’s The Challenge is the fifth major sport (as Bill Simmons hypothesized), then it appears The Bachelor has become the sixth.

Which is all to say, there’s a former NFL quarterback (technically) on this season of the Bachelorette, so that makes this all fair game for a recap from a sports site because the Internet is a wonderful place and you’ll all click on these things.

So let’s jump into a totally incomplete and hastily-cobbled-together musing of thoughts, observations and mean comments about real people on a fake TV show.


Aaron Rodgers’ brother made a better play in his first 30 seconds on screen than he did in pretty much the entirety of his professional football career. The chemistry between JoJo (the Bachelorette in case you’re unawares) and Aaron Rodgers’ brother was strong enough that he got a “real” kiss and had her talking about his butt for roughly 15 seconds.

Some other thoughts on Aaron Rodgers’ brother:

  • I haven’t seen many of these things, but it seems to be the first impression rose is important and he got it.
  • He was all over the “This season on…” preview montage with a whole bunch of angry dudes trying to tell JoJo that he’s “not here for the right reasons.” That seems to be a common trope on these seasons, but the Aaron Rodgers’ brother vs. Everybody narrative is particularly compelling.
  • My fiancée called him the winner roughly a minute into him being on the screen, so that’s probably worth something.

Second MVP

Aaron Rodgers’ brother’s hair.

Drunk people!

So dudes get drunk on this. Like, really drunk. At one point, the Drunk Canadian Dude appeared to be ordering half the bar, so it’s probably not a huge surprise he ended up taking his clothes off and jumping from the balcony into the pool. Considering that the episode started in pitch blackness and ended with the sun coming up, it’s a miracle three-quarters of the house doesn’t resemble the The 13th Step at 3:45 a.m. on a Sunday morning.

Side note: DCD (Drunk Canadian Dude) and Florida Barber are the early leaders in the clubhouse for “producer’s choice.”

Short people

Not so much a revelation, but it felt like there were a lot of height-challenged individuals this season.

Things I learned about my fiancée last night

She was once hit on by the “weirdo from Jersey City” (her words). So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.

Quote of the night

This will probably be from the show at some point, but the best last night was from my future mother-in-law:

“I think the Chinese Scot is cute. The rest are yucky.”


Sportscaster Dick Enberg dies at 82

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SAN DIEGO — Dick Enberg, the longtime sportscaster who got his big break with UCLA basketball and went on to call Super Bowls, Olympics, Final Fours and Angels and Padres baseball games, died Thursday. He was 82.

Engberg’s daughter, Nicole, confirmed the death to The Associated Press. She said the family became concerned when he didn’t arrive on his flight to Boston on Thursday, and that he was found dead at his home in La Jolla, a San Diego neighborhood, with his bags packed.

“He was dressed with his bags packed at the door,” wife Barbara told the Union-Tribune. “We think it was a heart attack.”

Enberg retired in October 2016 after a 60-year career – and countless calls of “Oh my!” in describing a play that nearly defied description. He also was well-known for his baseball catchphrase of “Touch `em all” for home runs.

Raised in Armada, Michigan, Enberg’s first radio job was actually as a radio station custodian in Mount Pleasant, Michigan, when he was a junior at Central Michigan. He made $1 an hour. The owner also gave him weekend sports and disc jockey gigs, also at $1 an hour. From there he began doing high school and college football games.

During his nine years broadcasting UCLA basketball, the Bruins won eight NCAA titles. Enberg broadcast nine no-hitters, including two by San Francisco’s Tim Lincecum against the Padres in 2013 and 2014.

He said the most historically important event he covered was “The Game of the Century,” Houston’s victory over UCLA in 1968 that snapped the Bruins’ 47-game winning streak.

“That was the platform from which college basketball’s popularity was sent into the stratosphere,” Enberg said. “The `79 game, the Magic-Bird game, everyone wants to credit that as the greatest game of all time That was just the booster rocket that sent it even higher. … UCLA, unbeaten; Houston, unbeaten. And then the thing that had to happen, and Coach Wooden hated when I said this, but UCLA had to lose. That became a monumental event.”

Enberg’s many former broadcast partners included Merlin Olsen, Al McGuire, Billy Packer, Don Drysdale and Tony Gwynn. He even worked a few games with Wooden, whom he called “The greatest man I’ve ever known other than my own father.” Enberg called Padres games for seven seasons and went into the broadcasters’ wing of the Hall of Fame in 2015.

John Ireland, the radio voice of the Los Angeles Lakers, tweeted that “If there was a Mount Rushmore of LA Sports Announcers, Dick Enberg is on it with Chick Hearn, Vin Scully and Bob Miller. Rams, Angels, UCLA, NBC, and so much more. Was the first famous announcer I ever met, and he couldn’t have been nicer. Definition of a gentleman.”

Enberg won 13 Sports Emmy Awards and a Lifetime Achievement Emmy. He received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and UCLA named its Media Center in Pauley Pavilion after Enberg this year.

“Kindest, most proactive possible treatment of newcomers in this business, for the length of his career,” broadcaster Keith Olbermann said of Enberg on Twitter. “What a terrible loss.”

Sports world goes all-in on 2017 solar eclipse

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Nick Saban may not have had any interest in checking out today’s much-hyped solar eclipse, but he seems to be the only one in the sports world.

At least according to these epic #SolarEclipse2017 sports Twitter moments.

The NASCAR community was on point with their eclipse celebrations, seriously you’re missing out if you’re not following any of these teams/drivers on Twitter.

But they weren’t the only ones.

Justin Rose, Rickie Fowler, Jason Day and Billy Horschel weren’t the only golfers taking in the views (with proper glasses), Tiger Woods bought into the hype too.

The Rome Braves had their break, but Bartolo Colon watching the eclipse will be your moment of zen.

And remember, if you were truly amazed by #SolarEclipse2017 goalie Ilya Bryzgalov has some more mind-blowing universal knowledge for you.